Are you afraid to show up authentically in your business? If you answered yes, my guess is that this fear is standing in the way of your success. Whether you feel like you have to put up a tough front to be taken seriously or like you have to water down your brand message to avoid stepping on any toes this episode is for you! Today's guest AmyK saw a massive transformation in her business when she vowed to start showing up authentically in her business. She began speaking her truth and only focusing on the people who fully supported her and couldn't wait to work with her. Listen in to hear about what sparked Amy's authenticity breakthrough. After listening, you'll walk away ready to drop your mask, speak your truth, and focus on the prospective clients who appreciate the real YOU. Connect with AmyK: https://amyk.com/ https://amyk.com/getitbook/ Connect with Jamie: Grab your FREE Publishing Profit Path - https://www.milliondollarstory.co/pivotandpublish
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When entrepreneurs are transparent, they'll share with you that this life we've chosen can be lonely, scary, confusing and overwhelming and we are often more vulnerable to expensive mistakes and surprises than we care to admit. But hitting roadblocks and barriers. being forced to redirect start over or pivot is completely normal. I invite you to join our tribe entrepreneurs devoted to increasing their business growth, influence and impact while being courageous enough to share the UPS downs, twists and turns of their life and business Odysseys through cathartic and inspiring stories learn actionable and practical steps to push past barriers, roadblocks and failures to achieve huge influence impact and growth in your business. And life. million dollar pivot is a series of honest million dollar stories with powerful business influencers and mission driven entrepreneurial leaders that provides you with real life value and belief that not only will you make it through to financial and location independence, you will end up exactly where you were always meant to be making a difference, changing lives and telling your own million dollar story. When you've been in the game for a while, you'll realize we all fall at some point. And when we do we land on the path that brings us to exactly where we are meant to be every time. I'm Jamie wolf. And this is million dollar pivot a show for everyone who's ever hit a wall trying to move to the next level, whether you're just starting in business, or you're moving from six to seven to eight figures and beyond.
Hey, everyone, this is Jamie Wolf with another episode of million dollar pivot We are so pleased to have you join us here today for those of you who have been following along with our podcast, you know that we like to talk about that time in life where you are going along, and you thought you had a plan until you didn't. And it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes it's a good thing that causes you to redirect. And yet going through that transition, especially if you weren't planning on it is not always easy. So we like to bring on guests to tell us about their pivot and the things that they learned in that journey to help you guys get through it with a little more faith that you're going to be just fine. So today I'm very, very pleased to have Amy Kay with us all the way from beautiful San Diego, and she's going to tell us a little bit about herself, then we're going to dive into those things she's learned during her pivot. So Amy Kay, welcome. Oh, Jamie, thanks for having me. Yeah, I am so blessed to be in San Diego, I was an East Coast girl born and raised in DC. And so now it's really cool to be out on the west coast. And I really, truly a beautiful and brilliant city. So I when I first moved to San Diego was like people work here. They do. And I get to be one of them, which is really cool. And so what I've done now, in my 20 years of being an entrepreneur, is I started off as an elementary school teacher became a teacher trainer became a corporate trainer left corporate america again, almost 20 years ago, 20 years ago, this December. And I get the privilege of working with business owners, CEOs and sales leaders on how to be master communicators. So I personally believe that life happens one conversation at a time, whether you are trying to negotiate and close a deal or get the team that you deserve or get the relationship that you want or build a company I spend most of my time helping companies scale. And I just believe that communication is absolutely necessary.
I so appreciate that. And I love your enthusiasm talking about communication because, you know, I write for a living. So words are really important to me. And yet sometimes no matter how clear and concise, I think I'm being and I used to work in tech. So I worked in a male dominated space for a long time. So they wanted data points, bullet points, short sentences, let's just get to the point. And yet even when I think I'm being tremendously clear what I think I said, and what someone else heard can sometimes be two different things. I also think sometimes people approach to communication as if it could be a confrontation. And so the fact that you are cheerful and happy and discussing how you're going to help businesses scale with a great conversation, one conversation at a time is an incredibly important topic. So I'm really excited to have you join us today. Can you tell us about a time and I'm sure there's more than one where you thought you had a plan. And you did have a plan and yet something caused you to pivot? Tell us a little bit about that, please. There are
two main pivots that come to mind. Obviously, there's more than that throughout the course of life. But What's so strange and ironic is
I really believe
that were your greatest pain. is where your greatest gift rests. And so when people say, Well, how did you become a master communicator? Like, were you born a master communicator
is like, No, I was born with a voice box that had no instructions. And even though I like to talk, I didn't know his talk so well.
And so one of the things that has been so important, especially through the pivots that I have gone through,
that I wasn't doing a great job of communication, and that I was experiencing pain because I wasn't a great communicator. And so the better that I got at it, I mean, well, let's go back, Jamie, we're all human, right? We're all gonna misstep, we're all gonna make mistakes. But communication is so important to have connection with other people. And so the first pivot, that I think, was the hardest for me, both personally and professionally was six years ago, my business partner, also known as my husband at the time, decided to implode his life and make some different choices. And therefore I was impacted by it. And one of the most beautiful things that came out of something that was so painful, was the fact that I realized I had spent my entrepreneurial journey not being somebody that was authentic. So his interpretation of going to market was, we've got to be like Boston Consulting, or we've got to be like this company over here, we've got to be taken seriously. And he was very much on the taken seriously. And so I spent the first 14 years of my entrepreneurial career trying to be taken seriously. You know, I was a little tiny, Spitfire blonde. And it was sort of like, but
I have a brain and
I want to help, but I want to consult and so I dressed androgynous Lee, you know, I showed up and I was very serious. And what happened in 2014 was, I realized that my lack of authenticity was prevented me from being successful, the energy that it required to be somebody else was so draining that the minute that I rebranded and I mean, rebranded, we redid every marketing material piece, we redid every website page, we went to market with a whole new strategy and what our strategy was, I'm actually a fun dork who likes to have tremendously intense conversation, and I'm going to teach you how to do it, so that you can scale more easily. And what was hilarious, Jamie is that the more I was myself, the more successful I became. And that was really one of those rebranding pivots of stop comparing, stop trying to be somebody else swim in your own lane. And by golly, you will swim the fastest you've ever swim in your life.
That's so so spectacular. And I can relate to so much of that. Absolutely. So I had a startup company, I had a partner that I happen to be married to, not anymore. It was a tech company, we went to a lot of meetings, I was very androgynous. I used to be blond, my hairs heading towards gray now, but oh, well, I am so grateful to be here. As you know, I lost a dear friend this last week. And so hey, if my hair gets a chance to get gray, I'm incredibly grateful for that. I didn't mean to diminish that. But the idea of being authentic, I think, maybe it's fair to say that women more than men struggle with finding their voice. I was raised in an era where women did not speak up quite so freely, or quite so authentically, my daughter is the polar opposite. As a young adult in the business world, very professional, and I, I'm taken aback, she, she gives me instructions every once in a while to breathe. Before I hear what she says and how she says it and who she says it to. But she's incredibly powerful, because she has her voice and it's fully authentic. And then I spent a lot of time in corporate working around really sensitive political issues, and therefore having a voice or opinion, or, you know, almost being truthful, you couldn't, because a lot of it, a lot of the information was not public knowledge yet. And so it took me a long time to untrain myself from not ever saying what I thought not ever telling the whole picture, giving myself permission to speak and to be authentic. But oh my gosh, is it freeing? Absolutely freeing, to not have to think first about Gosh, who is this going to impact or who might this effect or are they going to perceive it a certain way? I think it's almost a level of control. I had a conversation the other day about delivering some bad news, should I or shouldn't I? Well, the conclusion was if I don't, that's as if I am controlling how somebody else responds. And that's not my way. responsibility, that's their responsibility. And who knows how it'll go if I don't share the information, and then they find that out later. So this idea of being authentic, you know, the Four Agreements, be authentic with your word all the time is so, so, so important. How did you come to give yourself permission to do that?
Well, I think there's a lot in there that you just said to unpack that is relevant for my own experience. And that is, you know, I had very progressive parents and your daughter is going to benefit from your experience and your progressiveness. And the worth of my own voice was given to me by my parents, but it was taken away by corporate America. So I was also in a male dominated industry, with men that were sort of like if you can just put it on a bumper sticker if you can just bolt on it. And I adapted to that very quickly. I mean, if there's, there's one thing I'm really good at, it's like, Okay, I'm a good student, you tell me what you want me to do, I'm going to do it. And so I got very good at being terse, succinct, to the point, and I played the game. And what I realized is that the game when you play it in authentically will let you be successful, but not up to the potential and the magnitude that you can ultimately be if you own who you are. And that's why I love to hear what your daughter's doing, because she is speaking up and she's speaking up early, which is fantastic. I think that one of the things that I would say that came back to me through that particular pivot was a piece of advice that my dad gave me early on that I never really followed until this pivot revealed its innate truth. And when I started my entrepreneurial rollercoaster, my dad said, Look, Amy, Kay, there gonna be a lot of people who don't want to play in your sandbox. And if you spend all your time and energy trying to convince them to play in your sandbox, you might bring in one or two, but you'd be a whole lot better off focusing on the people who do want to play in your sandbox, and they will be there. And you got to trust that there are people that are gonna want to play in your sandbox. And it wasn't until this pivot came along. I said, You know what, I just want to be who I am and whoever shows up to play in my sandbox. Those are the ones that I'm going to love. And it was amazing, Jamie that when I quit tiptoeing, and I, and I did, I had a few really difficult moments with clients when I would speak my truth, not not inappropriately, not rudely, just my truth. And they'd be like, Oh, we don't see the world that way. And I said, and that's okay. But this is my voice now. And and so those were moments where I really had to ask myself, who am I up to be? And that, to me is a brilliant question through any pivot that you go through is Who am I up to being in this next chapter? What am I capable of? How much do I believe in myself? How much do I want to stretch myself? And I'll tell you, that brings me to what I think has been another significant pivot in my entrepreneurial career. And that is 2020. Now I'm, I'm not talking about like the transition of Oh, you know, there's, there's this minor turnaround 2020 forced me to reinvent my entire business model. And I mean, I have never worked so hard. And I am a hard worker, I have never worked so hard in my life, to simply pivot, not make, you know, a gazillion dollars, but simply to turn things around so that I can be in the position of going and so I'm, I'm a speaker, I'm an author, I'm a consultant, and the speaking the event world imploded
overnight. And so we became a subscription membership model completely changed the way that we structured our pricing, the way we go to market, we up ended the industry in terms of, it's a longer story than it deserves, but we completely upended the model of how you even roll out training inside a company for a much lower price tag. And we've been so embraced. Again, people have shown up in the sandbox to say, This is amazing. Not I'm amazing. This model is amazing for my people. And it's like, Okay, so this is affirming when when you show up to say, where's the opportunity? How can I capitalize on this opportunity, which opportunities are relevant for me and which aren't. You can change the game and you don't have to let the game change you. You can change the game and how you play it.
There's a lot of power and everything that you just said, as you were speaking, I was definitely getting goosebumps, that idea of going up showing up leveling up. Not retreating because so often when we're uncertain of the next step, we retreat, we pull back we sort of go into a little bit hiding mode or protection mode, and we think we're protecting yourself and we think we're protecting our energy and certainly confusion, overwhelm is going to happen I get that but I think it's so crucial not to stay there. I also
At least for me, sometimes when decisions need to be made, I first go to a little bit of fear. Now the good news is I've started to recognize that in myself, so now I can see it and go, Okay, I'm just scared right now that's okay. It's totally okay to be scared. But I'm not going to let that fear of what might happen, prevent me from making something glorious happen. Because if we let go of the fear, which is also letting go of our controlling what the outcome is going to be, and simply focus on what we want the outcome to be, you want to still keep working with amazing people who come to your sandbox and want to play with the business model that you create. You're going to then go Okay, that's where I'm going. Now, what do I do today to make it happen? And you forget about the great big picture of Oh, god, what if it goes wrong? What if nobody wants this model? What if somebody, you know, what, what's the competition doing? And you get out of that space, and stop being afraid. So I really, really love what's happening. And I think, you know, the cool part about 2020 is the opportunities that are coming up to take a step back and go, Okay, I get that we always did it this way. That's not bad. But now we're being given an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and go, Well, how could we do it differently going forward? So tell us a little bit more about the kinds of trainings you do this subscription model, which is brilliant, you know, how does all that work?
It's a model that we had to play with it first. And I think that it's really important for me to share that. Not everybody's going to embrace your change. I remember at the beginning of the pandemic, when we launched the subscription model, we heard from one of our clients, a very sophisticated client, he said, Oh, you sound like you're more like one of those online sales persons than you are, you know, yourself. And I said, well, it's, I thank you for the feedback. First of all, thank you for that. And I'm moving in this direction. Like, I actually believe in this model, I think this is a smarter model. And this, this model wouldn't have emerged or been accepted if it weren't for the world global situation. So again, it's kind of like when things happen, finding that right opportunity. And so what we did is typically what happens inside a company, and I'll just use basic numbers, you'll spend, let's just say, $100,000, to have 40, people get three days of training or 50 people to get three days of training. And it's a very finite group inside a company for a very finite amount of time. And you're hoping that there will be this ripple effect that like these 40, or 50, leaders will all go out and they'll disseminate this information. And everybody talks about it as a no brainer of an investment, because it's less than one person salary. Now you've impacted all these people. But often, and I say this as a trainer, one and done training, it's not very sticky, if you very rarely get long term behavioral change. And I'm a cognitive scientist. So I know the truth of this statement. And so I said, you know, one of the things we've always done for years is we battled this long term behavioral change issue. What if we made it a heck of a lot cheaper? People could instead of saying, Oh, you can't share this training outside of these 50, unless you pay for more signing addendum, blah, blah, blah, what if we said show to everybody, I don't care if you have 40,000 people in your organization, pay a monthly fee, I'm going to send you What's a real world, you know, attention span, 2025 minute video, I'll send you to a month. They'll be on customer service and innovation and sales and mindset and leadership and team dynamics and healthy cultures, all the things that are important to a healthy company that wants to scale faster. And then you show them across your organization in any way shape, or form. We'll give you a platform to do that people can go link, there's no passwords, there's no nonsense. Oh my gosh. So here's what's great for a fraction of the price like this low like literally like Ginsu knife, do like monthly fee. Hundreds of people are going through our program now and companies are like our customer service, our sales are skyrocketing in the middle of a pandemic because of this. So you're helping more people at a much more compassionate price point with everything that's going on right now. And it just makes you feel good, and it's working. So it's like this huge win win.
I love that companies are starting to understand that human resources are indeed their number one resource. And that especially in a time where your employees are dealing with all of the personal stuff, and it's no longer a case of keep personnel out of the workplace. We are inundated daily, with so much uncertainty and so much lack of agency of what do we control and What don't we control that to have a company or a corporation that is awake enough to
Go, how can we help our employees and support employees, because if they feel supported, if they're getting the training that they need, if they can see that we're adapting, so they feel that they can adapt as well. It moves everybody forward from the customer who's on the outside getting the experience and the service and the support that they need to relieving the pressure and the stress all the way up the food chain on the inside, because now we don't have a problem that we don't know how to fix. Things are starting to go more and more seamlessly. You know, when we first started our conversation, you said you are pouring a lot of energy into being someone who you were not, and that that consumed energy, therefore, you didn't have a lot left over for these other things. And I think that the model that you've introduced into companies, should they embrace it more and more freely, they're going to understand that frees up a lot of energy, not just financial energy, but all sorts of energy of problems are being addressed. people now have the skillset and the wherewithal to handle them in house, so they don't need to escalate it. And it's just, you know, the best solution sometimes in hindsight, are going there. So obviously, quite a heck, why were we doing this sooner?
Well, I really believe that
energy, not time, is the fundamental currency of high performers. And one of the things that people will often say, when they meet me is like, Oh, my God, Jamie, Kay, you have so much energy, like, that's what they remember, like, Oh, my Oh, no, they'll remember my incredible business model. No, they're like, you're so energetic. And I think it's because I really have done a very conscious job of figuring out what fuels me, and what drains me. And that's what I spend a lot of time teaching business owners who want to scale faster is there's energy inside your organization that you need to harness, and you harness that energy in every single conversation and every critical meeting. And so teaching people the skills of, you've got 24 hours in a day, everybody's got the same 24 hours. But why do some people meet and exceed their goals, while others feel like they're plateauing or stuck in the grind is how they manage their energy, it's a much better way to look at a renewable manageable resource than time, which is a constant. And it's not that I don't want you to be efficient or organized with your time, it's just that the more you focus on time,
the less efficient you get
with it, the more that you focus on energy, ironically, the more time you get, and so I've just found it, I prove that, you know, year after year for Oh, gosh, almost 30 years.
When you are seeking new people to come play in your sandbox, what size of company? Are they in certain industries? Are they in certain geographical locations? Who do you look for? And then, conversely, how did they reach you, if and listening to this conversation, they're hearing something they want to know more about. We work with companies all over the globe, although I would say 87 88% of them are North America. So they're Canadian, they're us. And we tend to be what I call the backbone of America, we are the mid size business. So if you are a huge billion dollar, and I've been there, I work for a billion dollar consumer product company, if you're, if you're that billion dollar company, you tend to have human resources, universities, leadership development programs inside your company already. So I typically with those large companies, I get hired to keynote, you know, I get hired to do a two hour workshop. And then we kind of move on the ones that stay and go through now the membership are in it sounds like a huge range, but it's not. It's the small to medium sized business. So we typically tend to be 5 million to about 550 million, which sounds again, like a huge range, but it's not. And we tend to be those where the CEO, both male and female, we are about a 5545 split, all of them believe full stop, that investing in their people is the absolute way to scale. Like if you don't believe in investing in your people the way to do it, I am not your sandbox, if you believe that your people knowing how to run a more, as they say in the UK, innovative meeting, a more thoughtful conversation. Someone who understands that talking to somebody about becoming a more successful integrated team player is the way to frame somebody's lack of performance rather than Hey, we need to talk. Somebody that gets that mindset and being aware of your own emotional intelligence and your ability to connect with somebody is going to get you a lot further than trying to dominate or have power over. So those are kind of my peak, the ones that believe, you know, and taking a deep breath and slowing down to have a really great conversation.
Do those tend to be flat structures or it doesn't matter what the structure is within the company,
it doesn't matter. And we're not even industry specific. So what happens is we typically will walk into an industry as a keynote or a speaker, and then the referrals start. So we have this long run of dentists, then we have this long run of real estate, then we have this long run of financial planners, and then bankers and then Private Wealth Management, we tend to have a lot of engineers, again, just my style tends to gravitate toward male dominated, but then like, right now we're going through a bunch of event planners, just because the event planning world has imploded. And so they're looking for ways to rebound.
Fascinating, how does someone reach you?
super easy. So you can go to Amy K, which is yes, my first name am YK, four letters, but you can go to Amy k.com. And really, first thing that I would do is to invite you to participate and many of our free resources. That's a great way to start with us, we have lots of free tools, you can take a five day challenge, you can download our most popular tool, Jamie is our conversation prep planner, which is really getting you ready for a tough conversation so that you can think about your framework, your key messaging, your offers and request, like you're really set yourself up to get what it is that you want. We've got a free chapter from my book, so that you can get a bunch of tools like generosity is one of my core values. And I'm serious when I say that there's a lot of stuff there to help you to just get your toes wet, so to speak. And then you can decide if you want to engage more.
Fantastic, I love books. So tell us the title of your book,
it's get it five steps to the sex, salary and success you want. And it is not as racing as it sounds. But it is it is the fact that we are personal and professional, sentient human beings who want more intimacy and connection in our relationships, who want to scale and reach our business goals. And so to me, it was like, I'm not going to bifurcate this. We're whole creatures who want success at home and at work. And so I spend a lot of time I'm not a family, I always say this, I'm not a family counselor, I'm not a family therapist, and most of my coaching calls, as in all of my coaching calls, will end up talking about a marriage relationship with a kid, something that's really personal, because it matters, it matters so much to our overall health and happiness.
salutely. So you started this by talking about one conversation, that you go one conversation at a time, I had someone recently remind me, I knew this, but it was so good to be reminded that in a conversation, if it's feeling uncomfortable, if I'm now feeling like Well, I have a point to make, or they have a point to make. It is data, it is feedback, you said, Hey, thank you for the feedback. Everything is feedback, the judgment we attach to it is our attaching. And so if we let go of the energy that attaches judgment, the conversations happen. And so I love that you're teaching people to have conversations that you're teaching them the framework for them. Because, you know, if it's time to fire someone, if it's time to say, you know, you have fantastic skill sets, but perhaps not for this particular position. And we're doing a disservice to keep you here, let's figure out how we're going to help you move to someplace where you're far more comfortable, and you're going to shine and your energy is going to be released in that new place where because it's obviously not here. And we can both see it. So let's just both acknowledge it. And a conversation like that if you understand how to approach it, what you want to get from it, how it can be supportive, and not just this horrible thing that you have to get through like a dentist appointment or something else is fantastic. Talk to me a little bit more about how you realize that you could break it down to not this super high level agenda, but to one conversation.
I found that everything that I was talking about in business was coming down to the next conversation that somebody had to have, whether it was our go to market strategy, so the conversation we're having with our customers, whether it's with a vendor, or a value added reseller, it was the next hire, it was the fire. It was just sort of to me, like I realized, okay, we're talking about all these business aspects of our professional lives. But what we're really talking about is the communication skills that are needed in every one of them. And what I noticed is that I wasn't the only one that was given a voice box with no instructions.
And so it was
fascinating to me, and I'm not blowing smoke when I say this, I'm serious. I was working with super smart, highly educated, sophisticated individuals who were brilliant engineers, and architects and doctors, and it was sort of like put your communication skills stink. And so it was like we joke about you to the bedside manners, like okay, we're in a boardroom and your bedside manners terrible. And so one of the things that I realized is that Everybody wants what they want. They just don't know how to practice that law of reciprocity. They don't know how to connect with other human beings. They're not all emotionally intelligent. And so the minute that you tell the CEO, every single human being on the planet wants to be accepted, respected, and if appropriate, loved, or at least, you know, liked and included, they want to belong, then you start with connection. And so we would talk about, you know, eventually the CEO would say, Well, this is what I want. And I said, Okay, we can get you that. But there's going to be a way where we're going to have more buying more engagement, and we're going to get
what you want faster, if you approach it from
this perspective and use these words. And so I've done everything from help leaders to cast a more articulate and compelling vision, to hire better to ask c players to step up to be be players, you know, a lot of people and this is probably getting very granular, but a lot of sales leaders are like sales are down, sales are down, let's keep talking about sales are down. And I keep telling them sales are down is a symptom of something else. It's a byproduct of a conversation, you're not having, something's not working. So you showing up to a meeting and belittling and judging your sales team and making them feel like dirt every time that sales are down, is not going to change their behaviors and get sales to go up because it's just a byproduct of something else. It's an unintended consequence. And they're like their heads go hope. And I'm like, yeah, that's the point. So let's change the thinking, then we'll change the behavior, and then we'll get a totally different result.
That just makes me laugh, because I'm, you know, I know that there's pressure, I know, you've got to meet quota, I know you've got to meet earnings, I know that somebody else is watching. And so that person delivering that news is because someone else is breathing down his or her neck. And so I completely appreciate the position. But I think it's so much fun that you make them go away. Because it is symptomatic. And I think often The same thing happens at home, you know, when things aren't going well at home, and that's translating to business, now you're starting your day and carrying that stress into what it is that you're going to accomplish at work, or you bring it home from work, not that, you know, all that means right now is maybe moving from the bedroom to the living room or the kitchen to the bedroom or something like that as we transition from work to home these days. But it's still that conversation of what is this a symptom of and that if I just take a step back and look at what the causative agent might be here, I can probably just with a simple shift, not a hard thing to do not a complex thing to do, but some simple shift, be able to reframe the conversation that's happening. And suddenly, it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. And that's pretty darn exciting. So if we take it back to the conversation around pivoting, what I love about pivoting is there's two ways to look at is like, Oh, dear God, why is this happening to me? Or Oh, exciting. There's new possibilities. There's new ways to play that I hadn't thought about before. hadn't been willing to take the risk to try because things were going great. And now I'm I'm being obligated to take a new way to look at things. But Wow, so many new ways to look at at, you know, how I do things, what I do, where I do them, those sorts of things. Tell me about some more plans you've got going forward since you know, we're not quite to 2021 yet, but we're we're getting there. So any thoughts about what's going to happen? In the next six to 12 months for you?
We just finished creating an entirely new marketing strategy, which is going back again to we did a lot of megaphone advertising, I call it megaphone outreach with the new book. So I launched in the middle of the pandemic, the book came out and we blasted blast it and I just we use the phrase internally megaphone, and I said, Okay, now it's time to whisper. We've done a lot of metaphor, you know, megaphone, now it's time to lower the volume, and just connect and go back to what's our story? What are we going through. And so I'm a huge curator of magical phrases. I just believe in magical phrases. They can pivot a conversation beautifully. I don't believe in scripting. But I do like that back pocket, brilliant, one liner. And one of them is a part of me. I love this phrase, especially when we're going through transition. So when we're upset when we're frustrated when we're scared to just compartmentalize that in your own mindset when you're having that internal conversation with me, myself and I and that would be like Jamie, you saying to yourself, okay, a part of me is scared. The part of me is excited.
You know, a part of me is curious.
A part of me is concerned. A part of me is wondering and it leaves all this wiggle room. For other emotions so that you're not just saying I'm scared, which then causes the body to shut down because the mind body connection through your internal verbal vocabulary is incredibly strong language inside our own brain affects our neurological state, which affects our hormonal state, which affects our physiological, and then our psychological. And so one of the things that I tell everybody is, don't ever talk in an absolute about yourself, like I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm mad. And when you're talking to your own child, it's a beautiful thing, especially with teenagers to say, Well, part of me is disappointed,
because then you'll
see tension de escalate, versus mom saying, I'm disappointed. And then like your kid, that's all they hear, oh, mom's 100%, mad or angry or disappointed, this is not going to go well. So tensions rise. So this part of me keeps you curious and open when you pivot. So right now, like with our go to market strategy, just to give you an example of how I'm practicing it in real time, a part of me is curious to see if it works. A part of me is a little anxious that it may not work at first that I might have to, you know, transition. Again, a part of me is also so ridiculously excited, because there's a incredibly creative aspect to this whole new marketing strategy that I'm excited to try. And then the other thing where we're headed in 2021 is not to sound like a downer, but just to be an optimistic realist. I don't think speaking events will ever come back the way that they did before they will be back. Absolutely live events, we'll be back. But I think that virtual is here to stay. And so the world that I knew Jamie of 75, to 100 speaking events a year, it's gone. Like, I don't even want to go back to that as a personal choice. I don't want to go back to that. And so my excitement about what's coming up in the next six to 12 months is that I'm going to be scaling in a whole new revenue stream, I'm going to be hopefully reaching more people, I know that it's going to be a huge learning curve, hashtag, I can get good at this. And it's just a wonderfully fun way to look at how you can pivot into something that can be Yes, a little apprehensive, but wildly and ridiculously exciting, because you can have a bigger impact.
It ultimately is about the impact. I think a bunch of people who first get into entrepreneurship, understandably, are attracted by that, hey, you want to make an extra $500 $1,000 $10,000 a month? And you're looking at your bills and you lost your job, or you're furloughed, and you go, Oh, absolutely, that's what I want. But very quickly, those of us who stay through the learning curves, and there are many of entrepreneurship understand what drives us is the impact that to get through the feedback loops to get through the pivots to get through rebranding, reinventing, redefining, taking on new identities, when we kind of like the old identity that we had, that it's because of the impact. It's because we know there's somebody else out there who's hurting the way we have heard in the past, who's struggling with things that we struggled with who, you know, a part of them is overwhelmed, a part of them is confused, I'm going to be using that phrase forever after going forward. Especially because my youngest is 20. And as recently as yesterday, we were having a conversation of really, again. And now I understand because I watch him, I watch him shut down. Mom's mad, I screwed up again. And the communication is over. And I can feel it. And I know it and I get frustrated with myself. You know, that wasn't my intent, didn't want to hurt him. But Gosh, we're in a tough place right now. We need to fix it like yesterday. So ever forward, I am going to use a part of me wishes you had thought about the deadline sooner. So I love that. But this idea of growth, you know, a pivot forces growth. And you looking forward to being an optimistic pragmatist, is that how you put it a pragmatic, real work? You know, it's its growth. And what I especially appreciate about growth is I will never be bored. I can honestly say, in this journey of entrepreneurship, I will never be bored because there's always going to be something coming up. And I get to choose whether I view it as a barrier and a hurdle, or a new opportunity. And as long as I'm looking at it as a new opportunity, if part of me is willing to take that risk of going forward. I'm not going to be bored. And I know that I have the fortitude like you. I can work with the best of them. I've got one hell of a work ethic and I will work my tail off, especially if it means I'm helping somebody else. This isn't about me, this is about, hey, I've got a skill set, I know how to do this. I've developed some courage muscles. So I'm just going to jump in and go so that the people behind me can see that it's okay. And I really love that I feel that from you, in this entire conversation, I feel that your energy is so service oriented. And so enthusiastic, and Gosh, so nice to be around someone with enthusiasm for this really interesting puzzle that we get in front of us of let's figure out this piece. Now, as we get ready to wrap up any last pieces of advice that you would like to hand out to anyone who might be working for a company and they're not feeling very heard, or very valued, or anybody out there who's got a small company that struggling just a little bit with their metrics at the moment, and they're looking to make sure that they can save themselves so that they can save their employees.
I personally believe just my two cents is that
the life that you want.
And I say that you as an all of us, just the ubiquitous you the life that you want, is on the other side of a tough conversation. So when we can honor the worth of our own voice, and have that conversation, even though it can make our stomach turn sometimes, or can make our palms sweat, and to realize that even that's just energy, that's energy inside of you saying this matters to me,
clearly, this is important to me.
And so and to show up for those tough conversations, knowing that it's an investment in you, it's an investment in your future, it's an investment in your ability to create connection with others. And so it's an investment in everyone's future, is to say that, you know, this might be hard, and it might be uncomfortable, and it might be tough, and it matters to me. And so if there's one thing that listeners would take away, it's that your future, the one that you really, really desire, not the woman that you get by default, but the one that you create for yourself so that you can live your best life, it's on the other side of a tough conversation. And I would encourage everyone here to not worry about being perfect to not worry about you know, whether you're going to step in it or not, because that's part of the human journey. And you can always say in a conversation where you've said something like, Oh, wait, I didn't mean to say that, you know, you're allowed. And I still need that, you know, after I here's a great example, just to take a little bit of the seriousness out of what I'm saying is, I was talking with our girls the other night, and I and I said, You know, I have two questions. And then I asked my two questions like, okay, I lied, I have a third, you know, and they started laughing because it's like, okay, I do have one more question. And, and it's okay to say things like that. But I think one of the things that I have learned the hard way, Jamie is that we need to take a little bit of playfulness into our approach, you know, even like, with your your son to stick, I have a story in my head, that like you in a deadline are never going to date. It's like and just have some humor with it, is just, it's a way to sort of de escalate and not take everything so seriously. And at the same time, realize that as all of us become better communicators, we get one step closer to just living a life that is filled with so much richness that it brings me joy to do what I do. And I think you nailed it, Jimmy, when you said, you know, why are we doing this? Because I wish I'd had these tools 30 years ago. And so I don't want to hoard them. I don't want to wait, I want to share them with the world. So you know, people are like, Hey, can I take this free tool? And like, give it to everybody? I know. It's like, Yeah, please do. Because that's the point of why we do what we do.
Beautiful. I have so much enjoyed this time, I would like you to share your website one more time and the title of your book one more time so that people can absolutely enter your world and find new phrases and new conversations.
You can become a master communicator by going to Amy Kay just for letters am yk.com lots of free stuff there. And then the name of the book, which is so exciting where we just were an Amazon number one bestseller because of people like you. And so thank you to everybody who's buying it and you can get it for 99 cents. So it's
like you can get the E book so
it's not it's not a big purchase, but it's get it five steps to the sex, salary and success you want. Spectacular Amy
Kay, thank you so much. I look forward to hearing more about your journey in the future. Best of luck to you and take good care.
Unknown Speaker 44:55
Thanks, Jamie cybersafe hugs
This is Jamie Wolf, thank you so much for joining us today on million dollar pivot. I have a favor to ask. If you enjoyed the stories you heard today. Please do the following now so you don't miss any future episodes. Go to iTunes, subscribe to the show, hit some stars to rate the show and leave a review. Let me thank you for taking those three actions by giving you a free gift. First, go to iTunes and take those three steps subscribe rate and review and then go to million dollar story.co forward slash pivot and publish. There you can grab your free guide to help you write publish and monetize your best selling book. It's my gift to you too. Thank you for listening. Until next time, take care. This is Jamie Wolf with million dollar pivot